I am a failure who has achieved more than I imagined.
I am an ethical human who questions whether I’ve made a positive impact.
I am a happy man who struggles with sadness.
I am a discontent who is at peace with his choices.
I am at any moment any of these. Each wrapped in context without which it disperses.
Each fact eternal. Yet ephemeral and subjective.
Real and nothing.
Originally published on LinkedIn on Sep 29, 2025. Enhanced for this site with expanded insights and additional resources.
The average US male lives to 75. The average US software developer is under 40 — tailing well off by my age. But I am not average. No human is. While much is out of my control. Some is. So, I strive to keep learning, accomplish interesting things, stay grateful, and embrace hope.
I believe in curating what I revere as my traditions. As with values, what matters to me is whether i follow through on them. How they make me and the people I care about feel. How my actions effect others.
Who else finds themselves looking up from an extended period (weeks) of flow to a feeling of contentment which frays into frustration and self-doubt?
Growing older isn’t changing this. Only providing me recognition of the pattern. Which is itself, comforting.